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Secrets Of
Higher Self Esteem and More...
Genuine confidence is a rare gift that we give ourselves. Psychologists
say that the only way to achieve it is to be yourself. Role-playing and
pretending to be someone you're not, to gain recognition or social
acceptance, erodes your confidence because you are constantly afraid
that others will discover your pretence and deceptions.
Great Beginnings-Early Impressions
In childhood, you start out with a great deal of confidence and
self-assurance. However, if the people in your life and environs are
not supportive, but are judgmental and critical, you quickly begin to
doubt your worth, lose self-belief, and begin to seek approval by
trying to change the parts of your behavior that are targeted by the
negativity of others. Being impressionable and vulnerable in youth,
your fear of rejection sets in and you seek approval through
role-playing; striving to convince others that you think, feel and act
as they do, in order to fit in and be accepted.
Where did YOU Go?
Constantly controlling your real feelings and behaviors and repressing
them, eventually leads to a build up of stress, unhappiness and anger.
These emotions can affect your health and happiness; which is why it is
critical to your well-being that you re-connect with yourself, and make
a conscious decision to be true to your own feelings, desires,
interests and needs.
Asking Yourself Tough Questions
The best way to regain and rebuild confidence is to re-discover the
real you and find your self-belief. To do this you have to become aware
of your good qualities and traits. Keeping a journal of what you like
about yourself is a great first step. Being introspective and really
examining your own unique qualities is not easy. Include the
observations of people you care about and trust, in your journal. What
do your friends and family admire about you and give you praise and
encouragement about? Do you get all of your personal validation from
external sources? How often do those external sources really bring
satisfaction and lasting happiness to your life? Rarely, is how most of
us would answer that question. It's time to start finding real reasons
to love yourself as you truly are, at this moment in your life.
Creating Confidence
Celebrate your strengths and accept your weaknesses because everyone
has both positive and negative attributes. Don't dwell on what you
perceive are your failures. Keeping positive is essential. Remember
that every person is much more than just the sum of their successes and
failures. Life and the human beings in it are complex and unique.
Describing anyone as either good or bad, is just an over-simplification
of the human condition. Each person has worth and brings all kinds of
priceless qualities to this world. You may be a very creative, funny,
charming and trustworthy person. Perhaps you are highly educated and
have a need to nurture others, and make a difference in the world. When
you focus on who you are, and what you do that is well done and
valuable, as well as, what you truly enjoy; you begin to be subjective,
and find your own authentic-self.
Staying Focused
When you focus your attention on the worthwhile and positive attributes
that you possess, without apologizing for what you perceive are your
failings and shortcomings; your self-doubt will begin to diminish.
Focus on liking "you" and surround yourself with encouraging
relationships, as often as possible. Take time every day, just a
moment, to remember what you value, and the source of your inspiration,
in life.
Confidence Recaptured
Confidence comes into your life when you hold yourself in high regard
and project a realistic and positive image that you truly believe in.
Getting comfortable with the real you, will be freeing, and will
release the anger and frustration you felt when you tried to hide your
authentic self. There is a great deal of happiness in life, and when
you are true to yourself, happiness and contentment will follow.
By Sara Carrol http://fromatozen.com/category/happiness/
Enjoy your life,
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